Lessons from Sons of Anarchy on Managing Conflict in Consulting
By Lorianne Collazo, Director, Client Services
Conflict is a natural part of business. As consultants, we will experience many situations where our customers are in conflict with each other, our team members, or even us. As a fan of the television show Sons of Anarchy, I see plenty of lessons we can learn – both good and bad – from how conflicts were handled by the lead character, Jax Teller.
Gather Facts
For Sons of Anarchy (SOA) fans, you know that Jax Teller just spent several episodes wreaking havoc on his enemies, but also his family and friends, based on a lie. His reaction, while outside the law, was understandable (in an entertainment sense) given the context he had. If he had waited to gather the crucial facts, a lot of damage to his club – and business – could have been avoided.
When presented with conflicts, we consultants tend to go directly into “solution mode”. Because we are service-oriented, we tend to jump right into conflicts and start implementing fixes.
Like Jax, sometimes we can do more harm than good by not stepping back, assessing the big picture and gathering crucial context and facts before starting to resolve conflicts, whether real or perceived.
Do NOT Overreact
In SOA, Jax reacted to his wife’s homicide by attacking and killing everyone he perceived to have been involved, which inevitably resulted in creating more enemies, more conflict and an avalanche of problems.
Even with perfect information, we have to assess which conflicts require immediate resolution and which ones may need to exist. Some conflict is healthy and ultimately leads to mutual understanding and stronger teams.
Other conflicts are poisonous and require immediate remediation. However, engaging in conflict resolution is a tricky proposition and should be done carefully and with reflection and consideration. If not done well, getting into the middle of others’ conflicts will almost invariably result in more – and bitterer – conflict.
Resolve the Conflict…Completely
During his rampage, Jax left a lot of loose ends along the way, and several of them came back to bite him in unpredictable and painful ways.
Once you’ve found a path to resolution in a conflict, make sure that both sides fully participate and completely resolve the key issue. If either side feels like they’ve “won” or “lost” and can “spike the ball”, or if they feel like there are unresolved items, then it’s almost a guarantee that the conflict will arise again – and often at the worst possible time.
This doesn’t mean that people have to ultimately agree or even like each other, but they have to agree on what the hatchet is and bury it completely.
Doing what we do as consultants will put us in many situations where there is interpersonal conflict. We may even be a part of it. Before responding or engaging, remember to gather as many facts as possible, avoid overreacting and causing more conflict, and then ensure that the conflict is completely resolved before moving on.
